“Basically No One”: A Young Russian Between Two Closed Doors

Two brothers having a fight?

Göktuğ

I’d like to start with a question that might seem simple, but it’s significant. What do you think about the war?

Nikolay

Well, first of all, you know, I think I can give you the example of two brothers maybe having a fight. And of course, brothers sometimes, or sisters, siblings, they do have a fight. Unfortunately. Because when you’re close too much, or let’s say if you’re a neighbour, you will always have some problems. People who live far away from each other, normally they don’t have any issues with each other. But if you live close enough, you will definitely be having some troubles. And it’s a normal thing to have problems. But it’s problematic when this transforms into something worse. Into a real fight.

In this case, I’m talking, of course, since we’re talking about Russia and Ukraine, it’s truly saddening that this fight, which I think could have been prevented, has transformed into this war. Because of course there are some argumentations. Since I’m an international relations student, or scholar, let’s say, I do understand the position of both of the camps. I also understand the Western position regarding this issue. However, as a normal ordinary citizen, none of this justification is valid for me, because we’re losing people and they’re losing people. So as an ordinary citizen, I’m against it.

And, you know, I feel like sometimes governments, they lose the, because, you know, this thing, we gave them sovereignty, etc. We gave up on it so the state will be protecting us. But when the state turns into evil itself, so what should we do about it? So I think in this case they have lost the right to rule. So what they’re doing is illegal now, because they didn’t take our consent. Because in some countries, for example in Switzerland, every single issue is being discussed with the nation, because it concerns them. But no one has asked us about this. And we didn’t want it. So yeah, that’s the thing. Again, I do understand the positions, but still I’m against it.

Hasan

Do you remember the 24th of February, 2022? Did you understand immediately what it meant for your own life, or did that come later?

Nikolay

You know, actually, obviously I wasn’t in Russia at that time. But it was already obvious even several months before that, because when you a bit understand the ongoing and previous events, you can some sort of make some analysis about it and make predictions regarding that. So on one day or another, it was expected that this will begin.

And you know, it was really terrible to learn about it, but at least I thought that, okay, it’s really going to be over in three hours, as the government has continuously been stating. But it wasn’t. And I didn’t really realize the whole scale of it, and that it’s going to be prolonged. It’s been four years. And we were told that it’s going to be over in several hours or several days, but it never was.

So I was really worried about it. Because again, when you have knowledge about something, when you have this awareness, you kind of can sense what’s going to happen and what the international community is going to do about it. And I was realizing that the EU, for example, or most other developed countries, they’re going to cut off the relations with Russia. And I knew that is going to drastically change the whole economical situation, etc. But again, I didn’t expect that it’s going to be that long.

Conscription

Hasan

So one of the consequences of it being so long is the conscription laws, and their effect on ordinary Russian people. Can you explain firstly how the conscription actually works now? Who gets called, when, and what happens if you don’t go? Also, the 2022 mobilisation was never formally ended. Do people live expecting a second wave?

Nikolay

So first of all, in Russia, every man above a certain age is obliged to serve in the army. We serve for one year, and you know, you can postpone it by studying, etc. Or let’s say if you have some more or less serious physical valid reason not to serve, you may be exempted from that.

But when it started, actually, it didn’t really matter, are you studying or something. Because at that moment, especially when the government realized that they couldn’t make it just in three hours, they started literally taking everyone, but not in that sense. First of all, they started, and they still continue on taking into army the young men, the young males from the regions. Not from Moscow, not from Saint Petersburg, but from the regions, because they cannot do anything about it.

And somehow, people who live in these regions, they happen to be ethnical minorities. Which we can interpret as literal cleansing of other ethnical groups in Russia. And you know, the regime, Putin’s regime, it has been stating for many years that yes, we prioritize this diversity, you see, Russia is great and Russia is for everyone. But it is not. So if you’re a rich guy from Moscow, you somehow can be saved, you know. But if you live in the region, most probably you will be taken. Sometimes even if you have some issue, physical issue, they still can take you.

And due to this reason, thousands of people have fled. Thousands. And you realize, guys, that people who can flee, most probably they have the facilities to do that. They have the money. And if they have the money, most probably they also have the education. So instantly we can see that, let’s say, the bourgeoisie of Russia was fleeing, and hundreds of thousands of people fled. And the people who are left, it’s the people who financially cannot really leave the country.

And now, yes, of course, the government doesn’t say anything in particular, but you understand that if they want it, they can just make it in a moment of time, and they can start the whole mobilisation again if it’s going to be necessary. And it will be necessary, because they’re running out of people.

And this is a really huge problem, because we already have a demographic problem in general, and we have the problem with the decrease in male population. And you understand that for the genetic foundation of the nation, it’s truly a threatening situation, because you don’t send disabled guys to war. You send healthy men, strong men, most probably smart as well. So you’re basically losing the best part of the society. So in many ways, this is a truly jeopardizing situation.

And for example, me, yes, I’m studying right now, but even despite this, I cannot be fully sure that nothing’s going to happen to me if I go back. So for that reason, it’s better not to show up again unless that thing is over.

Göktuğ

The war has forced a lot of young Russians to make real decisions about where they can and can’t be. When did you realise you couldn’t go back, or that going back meant risking conscription?

Nikolay

I think I realized that maybe right on that week, that I couldn’t go back. Because if I do, most probably I will end up there as well. Even if it’s not going to happen, I still might be stuck in the country.

Because they have prohibited, that’s the thing that I actually forgot to tell you. So basically, if for example you’re hiding from the army, they might come to your house and bring the conscription. They prohibited men from certain ages from leaving the country, and they started taking away their foreign passports, because in Russia we have two passports. We have internal and external passport. They started taking away the external passports, or if it was in the proceeding, they were just not giving it to these people.

Further, they realized that they can send the conscription through the state application. So basically, the moment you enter the application, you see it, and the moment you see it means that you have to go to the conscription office.

And I think, yes, I realized on that week that I can’t go back. And in Turkey, people are more tolerant about this topic. Still, you can feel the pressure, that there is a wide range of things or activities that you cannot do, or rights that you do not possess anymore.

Exile and Sanctions

Göktuğ

Do you think of yourself as an exile, an émigré, an immigrant, or something else?

Nikolay

That’s a hard question to answer, actually. Because normally I was just a student who wanted to study abroad. It happened to be Turkey. And I was thinking that I’m going to go back and I’m going to work in the diplomatic corps and everything is going to be just fine, etc. But it didn’t turn out to be in this way.

And of course, I also didn’t expect the Western bloc to go that harsh on Russia, to be honest. Because they have imposed like more than 15,000 sanctions or whatever. And they still keep on doing that. They present not just Russia, but Russian culture, Russian people, everything about us, as a threat to the free world. Whatever free world they’re talking about.

And I know that it wasn’t really the question that you asked, but it is the consequences that we’re facing. It’s not just about, you know, you cannot go back home. You are not welcomed. And to be honest, I wanted to study in Europe, but I understand that I’m not going to be tolerated there.

And now, yes, I feel like I’m in exile. Because you cannot do really many things here. I mean, I’m talking about my own career. And you cannot do plenty of stuff back in there, because it’s not a good idea to go back. Because it’s not just about going to the war itself, it’s also about the whole situation in the country. Because now they’re running out of fuel, for example. We don’t have fuel in Russia. Imagine, the country that has such large natural resources, and we cannot provide for ourselves. Even on this week, Turkey, a NATO country, has sent fuel to Russia for the first time.

I can see that many people, even in Turkey, they opt not to work with Russia. Why? Because there are a lot of sanctions and many companies, they don’t want to get in trouble. Not because they don’t want to make a trade with us. You know, any rational thinking company person would still make a trade, because businessmen, they don’t care about this stuff. But they cannot do anything. Because for example, if it is a European company, there is a certain list of companies that they’re prohibited to work with. It cannot send the product to Russia, even if, let’s say, a Turkish company buys it and after that sends it. Still it’s prohibited. Like the moment they learn about it, they’re going to cut off all the relations with Turkey or whatever country.

So when you are under such a situation, even if it doesn’t affect you in a direct way, you’re still under that psychological pressure. And for that reason, yes, I feel more like in exile. Because I cannot say anything, neither here nor there. Because if you say something there, it’s going to be a problem. If I say something here, it’s going to be a problem when I come back. Even if I don’t come back, it’s going to be a problem here as well. Especially if you want to work in academia or in diplomacy, let’s say.

Hasan

So, we can continue with the sanctions, since you brought them up. Russian cards don’t work abroad, most banks are off SWIFT, and there are many more we could name. Do you see yourself and Russian people as collateral damage in a bigger fight against the Russian government? Or are these unnecessary steps that damage Russian people too? And do these sanctions make Russians feel more sympathetic towards their own government, because they force people together and exclude them from the outside?

Nikolay

Exactly. I mean, whoever is taking the sanctions and these decisions to take sanctions, most probably they didn’t study history, sociology. I think they didn’t study anything.

Because, of course, I do not have the authority or sufficient competence to make some very harsh statements about it, because I never was a part of this mechanism, etc. And I’m just a normal citizen. I’m not being here on the upper side and I don’t see what’s going on in real life. But still, when you think about it, it doesn’t make any sense. You want to punish the government, but instead of punishing the government, you’re punishing the people. Because after so many years, we are kind of inseparable right now. And I’m telling you, it’s like it’s a war not on the government. It’s a war on us. And we didn’t do anything.

Of course, there is a particular feature of our nation and of our people that, you know, we get used to being patient. And we say, it will pass, it will pass, it will pass. That’s true, yes. But we didn’t think that it’s going to be this way. I was born after Putin came to power, but even from what my parents are telling, my friends’ parents, my grandmother, everyone was thinking that Putin is going to be a great leader, because he was in the beginning. And everyone believed in it.

But again, it’s not just about Putin as well. That is the problem. It’s not just about him. And it’s not just about the West. It’s not just about Ukraine. Like, you cannot say that this side is guilty. I think everybody is guilty, but it doesn’t even matter, like, who is guilty and who is not, because the war is on.

But what they are doing, I think it’s a hatred. I feel like we are ontological enemies for them. And actually Europe never wanted to accept Russia as a part of Europe. Before, like starting from the time of Peter the Great, we were trying to imitate them. But we realized that they never wanted us. We did everything. We changed everything. We changed the culture. We abolished many old traditions that Russia had. And we became just like them, but it never was enough. It feels like Turkey is trying to get into the EU and they keep on providing different excuses over time, for like decades. So it’s kind of the same.

So I feel like it’s a war against us. Because when it started, they started abolishing Russian literature classes. They stopped giving this kind of classes. They prohibited our musicians to perform in Europe, for example. And what kind of relationship does it have with Putin? And what kind of relationship do Russians who live outside have with this situation? What can we do about it? What should we do? You know, everyone can post everything, but posting is not enough. Because everybody knows everything already. What are you going to tell to other people? What can you tell that the news didn’t tell you yet? There is nothing else.

And again, what do they expect from Russian people? Do you know how much is the number of police in all these corps? Five million. Do you think you can go against them? And they don’t have any other option as well. Because let’s be realistic. People are afraid. People are afraid because they can get killed. If you don’t do it, they will kill you. Another person will. It’s very easy, unfortunately, to do that.

And the problem is that the illness wasn’t treated early on. So now it’s like a cancer. Like there is no cure for this except let the body die, I think. And that’s why I feel like the whole system needs to collapse in order for this to stop. Because again, it’s not just about one event. It’s not just about one person. There’s a very long history behind it, because the rise of Putin started in the nineties. So you cannot just go out and say, Putin, we don’t want you. No.

Who Is Responsible

Hasan

In a system where people have no real say, does responsibility for what the state does still fall on ordinary citizens? Do you feel any of it yourself?

Nikolay

You know, I think two years ago I was reading about collective responsibility. And I was taking into consideration two cases, Nazi Germany and the case of Vietnam as well.

So, Hitler, for example. Hitler, it’s not just a person. It’s the result of particular sociological, economic, political dynamics. It’s the result of what people were doing, what people were saying, of the discourse, etc. And Hitler didn’t appear in one day. It took years. And that is the problem, I think. Of course, you might say, how is it related to what you asked? But the problem is that if on a daily basis we do not control our discourse, in the end it might bring us to unforeseen consequences, which happened in Nazi Germany.

And for example, when we think about it, are we responsible as a person? I think everyone is responsible for that. To the same extent as each of us is responsible for climate change. Each of us is responsible for wars around the world. We are all responsible, even for what’s going on in Palestine. We are all responsible for that, because we know about it. I think what makes us responsible is our awareness. And today we all have phones. We all have access to internet. Everyone knows what’s going on in the world. So if you have the knowledge, if you have the information, it means that you are responsible.

But the question here, I think it should be about the extent to which we should be taken accountable. And in this case, for example, I voted only once in my life. And I mean, I could have voted twice, I guess, but at the time I couldn’t. And I voted for someone else. But it doesn’t matter for whom I vote. Because again, the thing is that the whole system is like this.

Now, in Russia, there is a party, I forgot its name, and they have sued another party. Yabloko, the apple. The only party left that was against the war. And they sued them and the court somehow, unsurprisingly, didn’t accept the appeal of that party. And now that party is abolished. The last party that was against the war. So now tell me, how can you as a normal citizen go against it?

A few years ago, there was one member of parliament from the Liberal Democratic Party of Russia. This member of parliament, he was sued for some unreasonable case, for some made-up case, and thrown into jail. And the government has put their own guy to rule over that region. After that, our people, our citizens, they have been protesting for, I think, maybe 200 days. Imagine. It was for the first time when we really saw that and we really felt as one nation. And that thing started actually in the Far East of Russia and it spread till Moscow. And even in Saint Petersburg, in Kazan, everywhere people were going out, and we really felt as one nation.

And at that time, I think the government understood that yes, we still somehow can come up together and protest, etc. After that, they started, let’s say, strengthening the system. Police, it’s also counted as executive branch. They started recruiting more police, and not just police, more different corps. There is a corps that is called Rosgvardia. It’s not general normal police. And they are fully equipped and they have huge trucks and they’re coming, taking you by beating. Even they were beating the elderly people, the teenagers, the women. It didn’t matter, they were beating everyone, they were taking them away.

So I know again that you might think, like, how would this connect? But I think it’s important to take into consideration these circumstances as well. I think people did everything they could. Because we are talking about ordinary people.

But there is some part of the society which is to be blamed, I think. And I guess it must be the bourgeoisie side of Russia. I’m not saying that I’m a communist or something like that, it’s not about that. But the thing is that they have the awareness. They have the necessary leverages and they have the power. They have the facilities. They could do that. They could change a lot, but they preferred not to. And I think, again, everyone is responsible, but ordinary citizens have already done what they could. That part of the society, maybe the upper class of our society, didn’t do what they had to do. At the moment when they were required to take an action, I think they didn’t. And instead of really trying to change something, they just left. And I think they have more responsibility for what’s happening right now.

Inside Russia, Four Years On

Göktuğ

Before continuing with authoritarianism, I’m wondering about your thoughts on other perspectives. How do people inside Russia talk about the war now? I mean, four years in. Has the language changed?

Nikolay

It has changed. Because before, some part of the society was somehow supporting it. Because we really thought, again, we really thought that it’s going to end up very fast without any casualties, etc. And the Kyiv regime is going to say, yeah, okay guys, you were right and we were wrong. And it didn’t happen this way.

And since it’s been four years and we are under huge pressure, financially, psychologically, in every kind of terms, even these people who are close to government, all these little Goebbels, let’s say, they started giving back. They stopped supporting it, at least officially. They stopped talking about it. Many, many people like that.

And now even the government, actually that’s why they’re trying to intensify all this negotiation process, to activate it and somehow find a way out. Because they feel that they are already losing the last support that they had. And now in the country, there is barely no one who’s supporting it. And even, for example, Kazakhstan’s president, he came to Russia and he openly, because you know it’s really great courage to say that, because before the Kazakhstan president couldn’t do that. Neither any other post-Soviet country leader could do that. But he openly invited Putin to end this, because he was like, I don’t understand why this brother fight is happening, etc. And the reason why he could do that is because he is also aware that now in the society, barely no one supports it.

Göktuğ

As far as I know, Lavrov said this month that Russia won’t accept a ceasefire on the current line, and Moscow wants all of the Donbas region. So if you had to bet, does this end in something that looks like a Russian win, a Ukrainian win, or a frozen conflict nobody calls either?

Nikolay

I think it’s something like World War One. Because in World War One, yes, France and UK, and in Russia we are taught that Russia won too, but we didn’t, because we were out of the war. It’s said that France and UK have won, but they didn’t. Their countries were destroyed. They lost a lot of people. Germany lost a lot of people. Ottoman Empire lost a lot of people as well. So basically no one won. So I think it’s something like this. There is no true winner, because both countries have lost a lot.

Russia has lost something more important than just people. And of course, people are very important, but Russia has lost their reputation. And it’s going to be very hard to restore it. In the eyes of whom? I’m not talking about the European Union. Politically, you can always find ways out, because it’s politics. One day you say one thing, another day you say something different. But what are we going to do about the public opinion in Ukraine? That is more important.

Because one day or another, it’s going to be over. It might be a frozen conflict, as you mentioned. Russia can go further and take that Donbas region and stop it, can go further, or it can lose these things. But I think it’s not going to accept it, and most probably they’re going to make a national suicide, because I think they can use the nuclear weapon as well. Because if the government feels that Russia’s very existence is threatened, they can use it, and they will.

But I feel like it’s going to be a frozen conflict. And during this time, countries will try to, let’s say, restore their economy and somehow get more equipped in that sense.

But the problem again is that Russia is very bad at advertisement. Because if we think that we are right, we don’t feel any necessity to go and make other people believe in what we’re saying. And that’s very important at this point. Why? Because there are two narratives. Actually there are not just two narratives, there are more, because everyone got one. For USA, it’s one. Biden’s America, it was different. Trump’s America, it’s different. Europe, it’s different. Even within Europe, it’s different. I think Russia couldn’t really sell its narrative. And since the West is better at selling the narratives, actually it is propaganda, but when it is the West, it’s just trying to protect some people’s rights. But when it is Russia, it’s always propaganda. It’s a very well known hypocritical thing. There is no need to mention it.

And that’s the thing. Russia didn’t and couldn’t do much on this front line. And because of that, we’re still going to have a lot of issues in the future. In the eyes of the Ukrainians especially, because it’s very important to settle down with them. But even if they shake hands and everything, you think we’re going to love each other again? No. Only if there will be somehow a mountain that just happens to be between us. Maybe after that we won’t have the conflict. But it’s not like that, so I don’t know what’s going to happen about it.

Authoritarianism, Media and Silence

Göktuğ

What are your thoughts on authoritarianism? I mean, you have touched on it indirectly, but focusing on it directly, how has it affected your life?

Nikolay

Of course. Obviously, we cannot say that any country is totally liberal and democratic, because there is no steady concept for that. So it’s a bit open to discussion, like, what do you mean by authoritarianism, etc.

I think for some countries it is somehow important. I’m not saying that people are dumb, sorry for my French, and that’s why they are not ready for democracy or something. But you need to be aware of some geopolitical realities. If you’re Finland with five million population, you can be a liberal democracy. You can be. If you’re Netherlands, you can be. But if you are United States, for example, or if you are Russia, if you are China, if you are Turkey, you cannot be. At least you cannot be fully, because there will be some areas where you will have to take the decision without the consent of the people.

But the problem is that for me, it’s not that problematic that we’re not being asked on every topic, because there are certain things that should be decided by experts. That’s true. But the problem is that there are advisors, and advisors are there to advise. The issue starts to appear when instead of advising, advisors turn into justificators of one person who is sitting on the top.

I think the main issue starts here. Because back in time, there used to be emperors and kings. You cannot say that there were liberal democracies. No, it was authoritarianism, but it was enlightened authoritarianism, enlightened monarchy. And in this kind of time, for example, the countries were prospering. So the main question here is about this thing. Is it top down or bottom up? How does it work? Does that person really get the consultancy, or is he just, or she is just, ordering the people to justify his thoughts? Because even in academia, there are many academicians who are being paid for writing appropriate, relevant papers to justify certain policies of the countries, that are actually sometimes even against national interests.

And of course, as a citizen of one country like that, I am directly affected by it, directly and indirectly. First of all, because I cannot say everything. Of course, by saying everything, I don’t mean to go out and curse at the president. No, I find it wrong and unethical, but it’s not the point. The point is that even if you have capacity, even if you have competence, you cannot do that. That is the problem. It’s not about saying everything, but it’s about saying what must be said. And the problem about why this kind of authoritarian leaders are being poisoned with this love of power is because the people who are supposed to be saying what must be said are not saying this. I know it’s a bit vague, a bit abstract. But it is what it is.

Göktuğ

Russian state media and the so-called Western media both claim to just be describing reality. As someone who studies this, what do you think that framing is actually doing in both cases?

Nikolay

Basically, they didn’t really change their position about it. And for example, Russian state media, there is just a lot of information, I’m just trying to process what in particular I should mention about it. Because of course, they are still in favour of it and they’re supporting. They’re not supporting. They’re saying what they are expected to say. Because for example, there once, I think four years ago, there was a TV presenter on the state media and she came with a sign, stop the war, you know. And after that, she was taken down and fired, etc. So basically, the state media is just doing what the government is saying.

But I think there is an important point to mention. Like Putin, for example, he has always been saying that he’s open for negotiations. But the problem again is that he wants to have them in Moscow. And you understand that Zelensky will not come to Moscow. And for many times, they tried to settle through different channels. They tried to find a consensus about where should we meet. And they had meetings in Istanbul. They had meetings in Riyadh, I think. But every single time something’s happening, you know, because there are people who are in favour of this war, and not just in Russia. And for now, I think even Putin has a bit softened his approach towards it. And he doesn’t actually come out on media that much anymore, because I think he doesn’t have anything to say.

Coming to the Western perspective, I think it’s also propaganda, because in both camps, both medias are being dictated what to say. And I think it is very significant to bring it up to the table as well, because in the West, they also don’t have freedom of speech anymore.

So, you know, it’s not about supporting what the Western governments are saying. But I think it’s about truly saying, again, as I said, the impartial truth that must be said. But on both sides, we see that in Russia, if you say something against or something different from the official narrative, you are being out of the game. And if you are doing the same in the European countries or in the United States, you’re going to face the same fate.

And I think the reason why is because, again, as Robert Cox said, theory is always for someone and by someone for some purpose. And we have interest groups everywhere. There are many people who are actually benefiting from it financially, politically, etc. For example, the United States also gained a lot from this, because it made Europe financially unstable, which made Europe closer to them. Even despite their efforts to put some distance, they can’t, because the US is their main trading partner. And Germany had very great relations with Russia, for example. So again, it’s a very multifaceted, multidimensional topic, and there are interest groups who are gaining certain benefits from that. So for that reason, we cannot say that any narrative here is right, or any discourse here is truly being produced for the sake of someone’s lives. No. And I think that’s important to bring up to the table.

Self-Censorship

Hasan

Since we are speaking about censoring media, I want to talk about you. Do you self-censor at all, in academia or in your normal life? And do you feel that this war and everything it brings has cost you some years of your life?

Nikolay

Of course, because you have to censor yourself. On social media, in real life, it doesn’t matter, because you cannot be sure whether someone is going to go and sell it to someone. And, you know, things pop out. So you cannot really be sure that nothing’s going to happen to you. Even now, actually, I’m taking this risk. But we have to take risks sometimes, at least for the sake of science, let’s say, or for the sake of enlightening the audience on the important topics.

I cannot say what I want to say on social media. First of all, because even if I don’t go back, my family is there. And if it’s not going to be about me, it’s going to be about them. For that reason, I cannot really post anything. I used to. I used to, but I realized that if I don’t want to have problems, at least for my family, I must stop it.

And since I want to work in diplomacy, you understand that it’s basically impossible for me to go and say, because there’s only one country where I can be a diplomat, and it happens to be my own country. And they check everything for three months. The appropriate organs are checking your whole history, your whole life, everything, all your connections, everyone you were speaking to, who are your friends, everything. Because if you’re working in the Ministry of Foreign Affairs, you have access to state confidential information. So for that reason, I cannot post anything.

And this really makes me feel bad, because I feel like I’m just closing my eyes on what’s going on, and I’m not playing my part in the history, which I have to be playing. Because again, I’m not saying that it’s only Russia who is guilty. Of course I’m not saying that. But you know, we all must do something in order to stop it. Whatever we can do. If you’re an academic, you have to be writing impartial articles. You should make some speeches, go to conferences. If you’re in the government, you should try to somehow soften the effects of this thing. Everybody must be doing what they can, up to their capacity.

And because of that, when you cannot talk about it, when you cannot write about it, because I also regard myself as a researcher at the same time, and when I cannot do my research properly, and when I cannot publish impartial scientific works, I feel useless. Because if I’m not going to publish what is real and what must be said, then what’s the purpose of my works? And actually, there is plenty of people who are doing their job for nothing. And I think this is unethical, because the topic of ethics is very important to me.

And even if I’m not going to come back and work in diplomacy, still, you know, you don’t want to cut off all the ties with the country. Because at the end of the day, it’s your homeland. And you want to feel part of something, because it’s very important from the perspective of existentiality, maybe. You need to have an identity. When you don’t go back, when you don’t talk to your people, when you cannot think in the same way as you used to think, when you cannot eat the food that you were eating, you lose that identity. And when you lose that identity, who do you become? Basically no one.

Because I live in Turkey, but I will always be a stranger. I will always be a foreigner here, even despite my good Turkish and everything. It doesn’t matter. And you become not just a stranger in your own country, but you can also become an enemy. And imagine, you feel like stateless. And I think it’s a bit bad for the psychology of a person.

So that’s why, yes, as I said, I have to be censoring myself. Maybe I will not in the future, but you have to be doing things according to the time and place and the circumstances. Because sometimes you cannot act as you wish. Sometimes you have to wait to take certain actions.

The Future

Hasan

So lastly, what do you think the future holds for Russia, for Ukraine, and for yourself? Are you thinking of going back to Russia if the war ends?

Nikolay

To be honest, of course I wish. I wish to go back and to work in diplomacy and to work in academia. But again, the more you study, the more realistic you become.

Of course, I’m not a scientist yet. I didn’t even finish my master’s. I don’t have the competence to be making huge statements. But history has been full of wars. I feel like history, it’s all about wars, because it’s an inseparable part of the relations between the states. You can avoid it to some certain extent, but one day or another, you will have it again and again and again. The names of the countries will be changing. The people who are ruling will be changing, but the wars will be continuing. And I think that’s what we should expect.

Maybe they will freeze the conflict now, but in the end, it’s going to explode. And I think it’s going to explode even in a worse situation, because the problem here is that none of the sides is going to give up on their narrative. And the whole problem, it’s not just about values. It’s also about some financial stuff, but it’s about the fact that according to these people, the state is at stake. The existence of the state is at stake, because Putin is saying NATO is a threat to the national security of Russia. So you cannot give up on that. You cannot soften your approach on this. Because when I put myself into his shoes, I think I will be also thinking the same. Like, you cannot solve this problem like this.

So I think there is no other way out. Maybe there is, and I think there must be. There must be some diplomatic way out. But I feel like it’s late, because the diplomacy must have been done before. And I think it’s a diplomatic failure from everyone’s side, from the European, from the Ukrainian, from the Russian side, that this has happened. Because I think if they came up to this point, most probably there wasn’t any other option. And if there was an option in the past, I’m not really sure whether there is going to be an option in the future.

And the main cause for this is the geography, because you cannot change the geography. The geography is going to be the same. So you cannot run away from it. One day or another, it still will come up and you will have to deal with it. So I think most probably there will be another war. Maybe this time it’s going to be between NATO and Russia, between Europe and Russia. Again, I don’t know, just a prediction.

But I don’t know whether, first of all, I don’t know whether the international relations system is going to continue this way. And I’m not sure whether Russia will continue its existence in the current form. And will it be able to continue its existence? Because remember Alexander the Great, or Timur, or someone else? Yeah, they created amazing states, blah, blah, blah, but the states have fallen as they have died. So the problem about authoritarian regimes is that when the country is being associated with one person’s name, it means that when he dies, the whole system dies. And once the system falls, the whole state is going to fall into that. Because we are not in the United States. Russia is not the US. It’s not France. It’s not Germany. And because of that fact, the whole system is created according to just one person. So do you think that it can survive without that person?

And he was trying to find a successor, but he didn’t. And he couldn’t, because no one can really succeed him. Because everybody is different, and the system is created according to his personal beliefs. And of course, not totally, not just him. The system doesn’t represent only him. It represents the oligarchy, which is a very important reality in Russia as well.

So maybe it’s going to cease to exist in the current form. Maybe.

Hasan

Thank you for your responses, that’s all for today’s interview.